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July, 2008

  1. Percentage, you are doing it wrong!!

    July 29, 2008 by admin

    I often tease my American friends, especially one in particular who tells me he is part Swedish part German and so on. I find it fascinating that the whole nation seems very into family trees and where they come from. I guess the whole country is filled with immigrants (ok completely ignoring the people who lived there from the start now) and it makes sense to wonder where their family come from. But what I wonder is how far back to you go then. So if you say you find out your great grandfather was in German, are you then German? Or do you then try to find out how German he really was? As Europe was filled with wars, raping, invasions and pillaging, we are all quite mixed up in our nationality pools.

    I once at school had a conversation with a guy called Sven (no not making it up he really was called that) who claimed to be Swedish through and through. I think he made the point as the third person in this conversation was my friend Karolina who is half Polish. Sadly in Sweden there is a lot of nationality pride and this guy was really boasting about that there was no foreign blood in him. I asked him how he could know that, surely there would at least be a bit of Dane or Norwegian in him knowing how much the vikings got around, but he claimed to know that, no for generations for 100 of years there were only Swedes in his family. Very silly. Maybe he was trying to tell us he came from a very inbred family…who knows.

    Only a few months after this very enlightened talk, Karolina and me were talking to this guy, he was a drop out from school and not the sharpest tool in the box, but for some reason we used to find it amusing to go and talk to him. This day he had a belt on that said 100% Swedish. start with his last name was a very Polish name, so Karolina pointed out that surely he was like her 50% Swede. This annoyed him and he started mumbling about that his dad was only half polish, his grandmother was German. I think we stood around outside his parents flat for about 10 mins just counting how Swedish he actually was. I don’t remember the outcome but it was far from 100% that’s for sure.

    I don’t really see why you want want to be 100% one nationality, surely it makes it a bit more interesting if you have family from all over? I have never tried to count how Swedish I am. My mum is Swedish so was my Dad. My mum’s, mothers’ family comes from North Sweden, and my mum’s dad, well he was adopted and had jet black curly hair, maybe he had Wallon heritage who knows. (His Mother worked at some kind of castle or big mansion and had more kids before him and there seems to have been some rumours about the owner of the castle maybe being the dad. His father is listed as unknown, but I’d love to find out more about that part of the family). My dad’s family tree is made up from his dad who came from a long generation of statare. His mothers family wandered over from Finland, but a big part of her family also emigrated to America. So all you Americans out there with Swedish roots…we might be related Swedish does that make me?

  2. Day to day life

    July 27, 2008 by admin

    This year has so far not been very normal. I have been planning so many things. Our wedding, relaunching our website at work, my first ever trip to the US etc. Now when all those things are over, I find myself feeling really stressed over day to day life, like what happens next. I’d like to be able to just settle in to living the normal life and get up go to work and get on with things, but I guess in my head things are still needing to be planned. Next big project will be to do the kitchen, which will probably be a pain, but I am really looking forward to it too. I also really would like to finally take a drivers licence. I am turning 31 this year and I have never driven a car. It scares me to death now, but I guess I just have to get on with it.

    I my mind I have set September to the starting point of starting these next projects. During august I will try and relax, maybe try and go away for a weekend somewhere with Steve. We have been thing of of maybe Ireland or Belgium or Germany. Me and Susie are going away next weekend to Helsinki and that I am looking forward to lot too.

    I need to get better at relaxing. I am constantly thinking of what to do next. I tried doing yoga a few times as it was supposed to make you relaxed. But it just stressed the hell out of me. Same movements over and over. No when it comes to stress busting I prefer a hard work out at the gym. Plus I could never get the breathing right.

    In all honesty I know what is stressing me so much and it is a long story, but it more or less has to do with the fact I should be starting to take disease modifying drugs. But it is never so easy to just start taking them. I guess I haven’t been wanting to think about it at all. But this year I have been more or less forced to thinking and talking about it. But it scares me, and the idea of injecting myself several times a week is nothing I look forward too. But it will have to happen, one day. I do think it is the right way to go. I just need to sort out when.

    On a day like this when I am feeling a lot of pins and needles in my right side, I think about the whole thing more than I do normally. I really don’t want to think about MS all the time, frankly it is boring. And just because I have MS, it shouldn’t have me (cheesy saying I know :P ). I guess it is due to the antibiotics and feeling worn down that I am feeling tingly and funny, as I haven’t felt a lot of this at all this year, so it gets me down a bit. I know I just need to ride it out and get on with life. It just feels unfair and stupid at times. Oh no this is turning into a boo-hoo poor me post. I don’t really mean it like that either. Just reflecting a bit that is all.

    What I really should go is to go outside an de-weed the garden it is starting to look wild in both the front and back garden. Then I got some work to do for a friend. And then…I should try another hand at that relaxing thing ;) …as I write this Steve is still sleeping, it is 11.01 am…I should really take a leaf out of my husbands book!

  3. Language Barriers

    July 25, 2008 by admin

    We are suburban homeboys
    With our suburban ho’s right by our sides
    We are suburban homeboys and we say yo dog and we mean it, by God
    We’ve got an old school mentality
    Oxford and Cambridge mentality
    Props to our peeps and please keep your receipts
    And we are suburban homeboys

    suburban homeboy – sparks

    You know you are getting on a bit when you walk past some teens and not really understand what they are saying. That is when you after sitting on a bus eavesdropping on the 15 year old’s who don’t make sense sit up and think “shit I have turned into my parents”.

    Of course I also had a period of talking teenage nonsense, me and my friends would add “‘ba” to the end of every sentence. That is short for bara which means only or just. Used to get told of all the time by both their parents and mine. I wonder if teens in Sweden still do that, or if it was an early 90′s thing? Not sure when I stopped it either.

    But language between friends is a funny thing, I often end up having some kind of invented language with my friends. First time was when I was about 9 and me and one friend had a long list of songs that meant certain things so we could speak in codes around other friends or parents. It was quite complicated, if I sang a certain song like for example “dansa i neon” it meant I wanted my friend to say she had to go home, so therefore the third friend would have to go home too, then she would wait around the corner on the street and then sneak back into the house again, and we could continue playing without the other friend there. If she agreed to this plan she would sing along to the song, if not she would sing another song.

    Next chapter in my language making was at collage when me and my friend Karolina invented our own language called Neumanism (it had a whole world and philosophy behind it ) but the gist of it was the same, an excuse of talking as much rubbish as possible in front of people we didn’t like.

    And now, I guess I have fallen victim for lolspeak (it started with l33t and moved on to lolspeak). I can have long conversations with Susie and Steve that are complete nonsense like this. Ok it worked online on messenger and in email, but now we kind of talk like this when we meet too. It might have gone too far? Our wedding rings are even engraved with pwned.

    I guess the point that I am trying to make is that it all sounds good to the person included in the language, but to someone on the outside it just sounds stupid. A few weeks ago I walked past some very blonde very white english posh schoolgirls calling each other bluds, and indeed it did make me lol :P

  4. Dreaming of you.

    July 23, 2008 by admin

    On Monday morning I had a very annoying dream. I had woken up and gone downstairs to lock the door after Steve and went back to bed, I fell asleep and dreamt I forgot to lock the door (we have been a bit paranoid about this after having the house broken in to twice). In my dream I went downstairs to lock only to find everything in the sitting-room gone apart from the sofa and the bookcases. Got so angry I sat up in the bed and swore. I even had to get up just to check the door really was locked before I went back to sleep again.

    Dreams are weird. When I was little I used to dream about a strange house with grey stairs where I kept on falling down. I also often used to dream about being in the back of a car, only to find out no-one was driving so I had to climb in the front and my feet wouldn’t reach down.

    If I am feeling stressed or angry I almost always dream about one of my best friends ex, he is trying to get her back, often by breaking in to her house. She is totally helpless and I have to fend him off. Or I get the dreams that are very violent where I am beating people up (I’d like to point out I haven’t been in a fight since I was 8).

    If I am feeling worried about something, I tend to dream I get ignored. I will for example see some old flame or someone and he will go away when he sees me. Or I’ll have a dream where someone gets killed and we have to hide the body. When I read The Secret History I was a bit freaked out how much like some dreams I have had it was.

    And then there are those dreams you just can’t explain why the hell you have them. My Friend Susie dreamt of seeing a large Santa, ferrying a boat filled of dead santas over a lake, like it was the river Styx. I once dreamt a black and white cartoon of a wolf chasing a little penguin around a meat factory, the dream ended with the penguin tricking the wolf so it fell in to a mince making machine. The penguin then kept on turning the wheel of the machine and kept on repeating “mincemeat mincemeat” . A few months ago, I dreamt me and Steve were sent out on a mission by some wise woman to dig up the bones of Kenneth Branagh (yes I know he is not dead, and it was the first thing I thought of when I woke up). His bones would give the person who found them good luck. We kept on running around in mud, dream ended with Steve finding the grave, it was huge and lots of people were there digging. I was on another side of a barbwire fence trying to get in to dig too.

    What is your strangest dream?

  5. Simply the best

    July 22, 2008 by admin

    The feeling of falling asleep is the best feeling in the world, specially when you are very aware of that you are doing it. Like when desperately trying to staying awake watching a so-so film on the telly, and you can feel your eyelids getting really heavy and you can really feel yourself drift away. Aww yeah that is the shit! ;)

    Not sleeping great at the moment due to the silly headaches, going to see the GP tomorrow, I doubt anything will come out of it, but who knows, I am willing to try anything now.