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Sex, Drugs and No Rock’Roll (or my adventures on the train)

January 21, 2013 by admin

Today I had to take the train to go and have a Glaucoma test done on my eyes. A few weeks back my optician told me when I was getting my new glasses that the pressure in my eye was a bit weird.  Test came out all good so no glaucoma, but it wasn’t that I was going to write about, no, it was about the journey there and the journey back.

As I got on the train, I felt rather happy, it wasn’t too late, it wasn’t too full, I got a seat and I would get to my appointment on time. When I sat down I spotted that at the seat someone opposite me, who also was rather happy. Or maybe actually he was rather cold. Jammed into his trousers was his hand safely resting in his crotch. As I have been blogging about this rather annoying phenomena, of young guys walking around with their hands in their pants  before and it turns me straight into angry offended old lady mood, I thought I would snap a picture to capture the moment. So I discreetly  took a photo of where his hand where at and put it on twitter with the text “Britain so cold today that train passengers have to hide their hands in trousers. Honestly there are pockets for that!” . Just after I did that a ticket inspector comes on, the young man had to cut out his hand warming and get his ticket out instead. I felt like shouting to the lady ticket inspector, “no no NOOOOOO don’t touch his ticket, I know where his hand has been”. Not knowing where to look now I continue the journey staring out the window. When we arrive at my destination, the guy comes up to me outside the train and asks “Have you got any Credit?” “What” I said “Credit?” “Yeah Credit” “Errr no” I said and he walks away slightly disgruntled. I felt confused and very much my age and then some. Credit? I had to consult google finding out this seem to be giff gaff generation lingo for can I borrow your phone. Aha… You see I come from a background where my first thought was, I snapped a photo of his trousers, I didn’t ask for a model release form, I published the photo and now he wanted a credit.  You live and learn…you live and learn. A friend pointed out that after I learned that he wanted to borrow my mobile I probably still should have said no, as I knew where his hand had been…

On the way back I was suffering a bit however. The glaucoma test includes dripping eyedrops into your eye that makes your pupil very very large, it also makes your vision rather blurred. Walking to the train station in the dark was ok, however sitting in the brightly lit carriage made my vision really bad. I suspect I looked like a total stoner with my huge pupils and I felt like I have had a very hard night out drinking. Sitting among the commuters I most likely looked out of place, like I had been having a better time then I had having my eyes prodded for 90 mins. In fact maybe someone snapped a photo of me saying, look at the 35 years olds of today, drunk and stoned in rush hour where is the world going to?

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